Sunday, July 09, 2006

The Church & Associates Ltd™

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen..
Let me welcome u all to a presentation on the largest business conglomerate in the world, a corporation that has been successfully trading in the established religion business since 544 AD.. A production chain that has brought into the market such successful products as Jesus Christ© and The Bible©.. An institution that has a higher gross turnover than most mid-sized nations in the world.. Ladies and Gentlemen.. I give you.. The Church & Associates Ltd™..!!
Many of you may not know the role played by the great founder of this enterprise, Sir Constantine, in laying the solid foundations on which this great institution still stands.. It was he and his team of brilliant market analysts, campaign managers and marketing experts who turned the life of a simple carpenter,and that too of Jewish descent,into such a marketable product.. a product that the market at that time was waiting for.. It was literally..A saviour..!!
From then on there has been no turning back.. It was a wave that was to create ripples in the farthest islands of the Pacific.. A storm that would shake the leaves in the deepest jungles of Africa..The blessing that would shower upon the parched lands of the Indian subcontinent. It acquired a brand equity that is unparalleled and a brand loyalty unto death.
The company continued undeterred even when faced with stiff competition in the Middle East market from Islam™ and when the Marketing dept split in the 1500’s owing to a difference in opinion on strategy. It currently runs numerous divisions and formulates specific products to reach specific age groups, time periods and mindsets. It is this versatility that has guaranteed its survival over the centuries.. An ability to spin out newer versions and yet retain the market value of the old..
And it is to this sheer grit and power of survival that we shall all now all raise our chalices and say Amen..

2 comments:

Machiavelli said...

hmmm..i leave this comment here for all to reflect on contradictions..

Anonymous said...

33When they heard this, they were furious and wanted to put them to death. 34But a Pharisee named Gamaliel, a teacher of the law, who was honored by all the people, stood up in the Sanhedrin and ordered that the men be put outside for a little while. 35Then he addressed them: "Men of Israel, consider carefully what you intend to do to these men. 36Some time ago Theudas appeared, claiming to be somebody, and about four hundred men rallied to him. He was killed, all his followers were dispersed, and it all came to nothing. 37After him, Judas the Galilean appeared in the days of the census and led a band of people in revolt. He too was killed, and all his followers were scattered. 38Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. 39But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God." (acts 5:33)

is it from Constantine or from God?